Lately I’ve found myself being slightly anti-social. This is a relatively new thing for me considering I’ve always been the type of person who thrives on having others around. Even in high school, when I was going through a really rough time, I was always out with my friends. Now, however, people make plans and invite me and I tend to not want to go because it means being around people.
Funny thing is, I’m writing this as I sit at the West Chester Diner with a nice handful of my friends. It’s diner night, and that, for some reason, is different. Maybe it’s because it’s an established weekly event, but it puts my personal anxiety at ease. Diner night holds a special place in my heart and no matter how down I’m feeling I can still come out to the diner and feel like things have been lifted off my shoulders.
Regardless, for being a very social person, this new predicament is bothering me. I’m not sure where it’s coming from or when it started. I wonder if it has something to do with the lack of creativity that has been plaguing me for months (see a few posts below). I’m also poor (see below), so part of me also wonders if that plays into it as well.
Is it typical for social beings such as myself to go through phases like this? Most definitely, I believe. It’s hard when it’s your first time really feeling this way though. I’ve been down before (like I said, in high school), but going out… forcing myself out… was a way to ease that burden. Now it just makes it seem worse. More tedious almost.
I don’t mean to be all depressing in this blog post, so I won’t continue much more. I think I’m just reaching out for suggestions on how to deal with this feeling. I would especially like to know because it would definitely help me relax after work if I could go and chill with some of my friends out at a bar or restaurant. I do miss everyone.